Wish
by Little Lady Mab
Summary: /Can I be selfish enough? To wish for him to stay with me as he has been… To stay by my side./ Watanuki shook his head, clearing away the silly idea. He was in no position to make wishes any more: It was his job to grant them.


Doumeki came to visit him the day after he graduated high school. Watanuki kind of hated him for that, considering that he hadn't been able to attend his last year.

He had to take care of the shop instead.

He could feel Doumeki's eyes on him as he limped about the kitchen. The week earlier, he had slipped off a ladder and twisted his ankle. Watanuki was learning the hard way just how to accurately gauge the prices of requests, though the trial-and-error took its toll on his body in a way that he was almost afraid to continue.

"You're limping."

Of course. Leave it to Doumeki to point out the obvious. "I fell." The truth.

"How?"

"From a ladder." The truth again. But he still felt like he was lying, and from the expression on the other male's face, Watanuki could tell that Doumeki knew that he wasn't telling the whole truth. But he didn't press on.

"Be careful," he said, crossing his arms and shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Doumeki remained standing in the doorway to the kitchen. "That woman isn't here to look out for you now.

Watanuki frowned, pausing in his preparation of dinner as he turned and looked at Doumeki over one shoulder. "What, and I imagine that you will be?" For some reason, the thought didn't seem to bother him as much as it would have the year before. In fact, he was a bit shocked to realize that, in his head, the question was worded differently.

_Can I be selfish enough? To wish for him to stay with me as he has been… To stay by my side. _

Watanuki shook his head, clearing away the silly idea. He was in no position to make wishes any more: It was his job to grant them.

"When I'm not in class," was Doumeki's answer.

Muttering something under his breath about "never-ending torture," Watanuki turned back to dinner. But, for some reason, he felt like the correct response should have been _thank you_.

There was something about that day that, over the next several years, Watanuki would look back on and feel like he had gone wrong. Maybe it was because of this uneven exchange, the price being far below that which was required of the fulfillment of the wish, that he found himself suffering from a constant, nagging heartache. The shop was only making up the difference in the one way that it could.

Years later, _years_ after that day, Watanuki had a dream. He couldn't remember it very well, as by this time his nights started meshing into one continual stream of consciousness, broken only by his waking hours.

In his dream, Doumeki was young again. And while Watanuki looked the same then as he does now, he didn't feel young. Seventeen forever; Doumeki was the one who reflected the toll of the years. Just like on that day, Doumeki had come to see him after graduation.

This time, instead of the grumpy question and response, Watanuki reacted the way he realized that he should have. _Will you stay with me? _and _Thank you_.

They kissed, inside his dream. Kissed in such a way that he was able to fully regret not making a wiser decision all those years ago.

When he woke up, Watanuki had the feeling that something bad was going to happen. He couldn't explain what, or how he knew. He blamed it on his powers. _Hitsuzen_, Yuuko-san would say. Something was going to happen because it had to happen. After twenty years of heartache, his price was finally evened out.

Later that day, when Doumeki came over after work, Watanuki was waiting for him. He was sitting up on his lounge chair, the pipe left untouched and his expression carrying an underlying urgency despite the normal sober lines creasing his forehead and mouth.

As if understanding the gravity of the situation, Doumeki set aside his briefcase and knelt down on the floor. He held Watanuki's gaze for a few seconds, before his eyes flickered down to stare intently at the boy's collarbone.

"Something happened," Watanuki said, able to read the subtle changes in expression after all this time.

Doumeki took a deep breath. "I've been given a transfer. A university up north has an opening and my advisors recommended me for the job."

Feigning disinterest, Watanuki fiddled with the hem of his kimono. "How far away is it?"

"I said no," Doumeki replied, a little more quickly than Watanuki had expected him to. It was as if he was trying to make an excuse. "At first, I said no."

"When are you leaving?"

Doumeki looked hurt. The faintest of shadows flickered across his face, but Watanuki understood what that meant. "Tomorrow morning. I came to say goodbye."

Watanuki could feel the words stab into his heart, and he resisted the urge to clutch at his chest. If Doumeki could play the "stoic bastard", then so could he. Instead, he rose to his feet and cross the room with slow, stately steps.

Doumeki didn't lift his head. Instead, he watched the pale, boyish legs flash in and out of the folds of the kimono as Watanuki approached. One of the fragile hands extended towards him, touched the side of his face, brushed through his hair as Watanuki knelt down in front of him.

"Then this is goodbye?" the boy asked.

"This is goodbye."

"Over twenty years and you're finally leaving my side," Watanuki said. His voice was faint, strained, revealing the emotions that his face wouldn't.

Doumeki was silent. "I'll write."

"No you won't," Watanuki replied, a bitter smile crossing his lips. "As soon as you leave, you'll never be able to return."

"What if I have a wish?"

Watanuki shook his head. "You won't. You're going to be perfectly content with your new life." His voice trailed off to an even fainter volume. "Perfectly content…"

Doumeki grasped the cold hand that was pressed against the side of his face. He kissed the tips of the fingers, much like a knight would kiss the hand of his lord. "I have always looked out for you," he said, his voice cracking. "I will continue, even if I can't be with you."

Watanuki hadn't even noticed that they had been slowly drawing closer together until he could feel the faint rumble of Doumeki's deep voice, shaking the air between them. The man's breath was warm on his face, the unspoken tension pricking at their skin.

It took over twenty years for Watanuki to find out what he should have done.

"I have a wish that I want you to grant me," he whispered, unable to keep up the cold façade any longer. His free hand was gripping Doumeki's shoulder, the other still held in the large, warm hand. "Will you stay with me?"

"I can't. You _know_ I can't."

Well, it was worth a try. _Hitsuzen_. Events like the one twenty years ago would never be able to repeat. He had lost his chance back then. "Let me take the price. For that wish I was never able to grant," Watanuki said. He pressed both hands against Doumeki's cheeks.

The man caught on quickly. His own arms wrapped around Watanuki's back, pulling him in closer still. The kiss started out slow and hesitant, then deepened as they struggled to make up for the lost years of being so near each other without touching. It was rough and clumsy, reflecting the innocent inexperience of both of them, and Doumeki's desire to not hurt the young, fragile boy in his arms.

Suddenly, Doumeki pulled away and stood up. Broke the kiss too quickly. As he bent down to pick up his briefcase, he nuzzled the side of Watanuki's head for a brief second, and whispered, "I will always love you. No matter what."

And then he was gone, sliding the door shut behind him. After a brief silence, the front door slammed shut and Watanuki could feel the hole that had been ripped out.

"You shouldn't have told me that," he moaned, slumping into a hunch. "You've paid too much…" Watanuki knew that the shop will force him to suffer years of heartbreak in order to make up the difference.


End file.
